Halloween: Outback Style

For this assignment we had to write a story about how Halloween got started.  It has almost nothing to do with Halloween and takes place in Australia.  It was a group project and I worked with my friends Nelson and Rony.

It all started when Outback Otis and his friend Crikey Chris were relaxing in rocking chairs drinking some ale.  As Outback Otis tuned his banjo, they looked out over the vast landscape.  The plains of the Australian outback seems to go on forever, interrupted only by rocky outcrops and dead trees.  Off in the distance they noticed a pair of kangaroos hopping by and a small child playing with a boomerang.

“This is the life, ai’nt it Chris?”

“Crikey it is.”

“Would you look at that mate, those kangaroos are getting pretty close to that boy.  Normally they never approach people.”

“Now that you mention it I have noticed that the local kangaroos have begun acting strangely.”

“How so mate?”

“Well they’ve been speaking in Canadian accents.”

“Yes, I’ve noticed that too, and if I’m not mistaken I believe that kangaroos normally do not talk at all, right?”

“Not to my knowledge.”

“And they’ve been abducting an abnormal amount of young children.  Crikey, they’re doing it right now.”

One of the kangaroos had picked up the boy and proceeded to stuff him into his pouch.

“Come on, stop kicking me, eh.  I don’t know what you’re complaining aboot, my pouch is very comfortable.”

“Someone should help him!”

“Yeah, you’re right, where’s that kid, crikey what’s his name, its on the tip of my tongue, the one who tries to save the day all the time.”

“Oh yeah, that kid.  I forget his name.”

They hear a whooshing sound behind them.  Someone had jumped from the roof to a crate.  It was a boy wearing a cape with “BOB” written on his shirt.

“Did somebody call my name?”

“No we couldn’t remember it.”

“Its Bob” he said as he pointed frantically at his shirt.

“Oh yeah, we should get Bob to help mate.”

“Crikey, you’re right.”

“This looks like a job for Bob!”

Bob leaps off of the crate and runs toward the kangaroos.  His arms were outstretched as if he were flying with his cape billowing behind him.

“Unpouch him you malicious marsupial.”

“Why should I, eh?  In fact, you look pretty young yourself, I think we’ll take you as well.”

The second kangaroo apprehends Bob and stuff him in his pouch.  Then the two of them hop across the outback.

“Well so much for Bob helping mate.”

“Crikey, looks like we’ll have to do it ourselves.”

“I suppose you’re right, let’s go.”

They got out of their rocking chairs and started to venture into the vast outback.  Kangaroos can hop much faster that humans can walk so they were already far off in the distance.  Luckily the kangaroos left large tracks in the sand.  They follow these tracks for a while until they finally stop at a large rock face.

“What do we do now?  The tracks just stop here mate.”

“They must have hopped up onto that ledge.  Crikey, it looks like there’s a cave up there, they must have gone in.”

“We’ll never be able to get up there, we can’t hop nearly as high as kangaroos can.”

“We’ll need to call someone for help.”

“Who you gonna call mate?”

“Naa Na Naa Na NaNaNa Na, Naa Na Naa Na NaNaNa Na.  Ghostbusters!”

Off in the distance they see a car approaching.  As it gets closer they see the Ghostbusters logo on the side.  The car finally arrives and four people step out, dressed in jumpsuits with large apperati on their backs.

“Did somebody call us?” asked Bill Murray.

“Where are the ghosts?  I don’t see any.” askedDan Akyroid.

“Can you help us climb this cliff mates?”

“Are the ghosts up there?”

“No, there’s some kangaroos that we…”

“Hold on now, are you telling me you called us all the way to Australia and there’s no ghosts?”

“Well how about if when you get us up there we kill a kangaroo and then you can bust its ghost.”

“That’s not how it works and you know it, we’re outta here.”

They get into the car and speed of back toward New York, leaving a plume of dust and sand behind them.

“We need to call some one else.”

“Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Batman!”

Off in the distance they see another car approaching.  This one was black with sharp things sticking up in the back.  On the side was the Batman logo.  The car stops and out stepped Adam West.

“What do you want?”

“Can you help us get up there with your grappling hook mate?”

“I’m retired now, get Christian Bale to do it.”

He heads back to the Batmobile.  Outback Otis picks up a rock and throws it at him.  It hits him right in the nose.  He puts his hand up to it and sees blood on his fingers.

“My god, I’m a tomato!”

He jumps in his Batmobile and speeds away.

Naa Naa……Naa Naa……Naa Naa……Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na.

“Crikey, What’s that sound?”

“I don’t know, it sounds ominous mate.”

“Look over there, what is that?”

“Looks like a triangle sticking out of the sand mate.”

“Crikey, its coming toward us.”

“Oh no I think its a shark, mate.  Run!”

They ran around to the back of the rock face and saw a man wearing shorts and boxing gloves with his back facing them.

“Excuse me mate, do you know a way to get to that ledge up there?”

“Yeah, I can help you out.”

He turned around to reveal that he is Rocky Balboa.  At the same time “Eye of the Tiger” started playing from somewhere.  Rocky then proceeded to run and they followed him.  They came upon some stairs and Rocky ran up them while Outback Otis and Crikey Chris calmly followed him.  When he reached the top he threw his hands in the air and danced around.

“I did it!”

“Congradulations and thanks for showing us the way mate.”

“Hey, no problem.”

They walked over to the cave and looked in, it was very dark inside.  Otis put one foot in and almost fell because there was no floor.

“Looks like it just drops down.”

“Crikey, how are we gonna get down there?”

“Hey yo, you’re in luck.  I’m here filming Rocky XII, Rocky goes Speluncking.”

“Were you planning on speluncking this cave?”

“Yeah.”

“Can we come mate?”

“Sure.”

They set up all of the gear and proceeded to spelunck.  After a bit of repelling down the wall they land on the cave floor.  There was a light coming from the left so they walked toward it.  A joey hopped by and they followed it into a huge cavern.  They quickly ducked behind a large rock and peeked over.  There were tens and tens of captive children in there.  They were all dressed in kangaroo costumes and were staring at a black and white T.V. showing reruns of Captain Kangaroo.

“Crikey, what’s going on in here?”

“I’ll tell you what’s going on, old chap.”

“Who said that?”

“Down here you bloody git.”

They look down and see two koalas also hiding behind the rock.

“Crikey, its a couple of koalas!”

“So you say you know what’s going on mate?”

“That’s right, we know.  But we’re not about to give the information to a bunch of bloddy twits such as yourselves.”

“Now now brother, be nice.  These gentlemen are clearly trying to help, am I right?”

“Yes.”

So the fancy British koala gave informed them, much to the dismay of the cockney koala.  Basically, it all started three weeks ago and a day.  The kangaroo population started to dwindle for no apparent reason.  In order to add more numbers to their species they decided to brainwash the local children into thinking they were kangaroos.  By the time he finished explaining they had horrified looks on their faces.

“Crikey, are you saying they plan to mate with these children.”

“No, no, heavens no.”

“That’s bloody disgusting.”

“They simply want to appear more abundant in population so the other species won’t make fun of them.”

“So why are you koalas here.”

“We’re trying to stop them.”

“Why?”

“Because we just so happen to be one of them species that want to make fun of them.”

“Well I think we should work together.”

“Okay, let’s go chaps.”

“Wait, we should come up with a plan first.”

“Okay gang, let’s split up and look for clues.”

“That’s a bad plan, we already know what they’re doing.  Let’s just run out there and see what happens.”

“Sounds good to me mate.”

Just as they are about to run out, Rocky motions to stop.

“Hey yo, don’t go!  There’s two roos coming.”

He was right.  They crouched down just as two kangaroo sentrys passed by.  They were in the middle of a conversation and they overheard one of them saying “…so I saw her cooking with inferior pasta.”  The strangeness of this comment made them all burst out in laughter.  The kangaroos heard them and apprehended them.

“Release us mates.”

“No, we’re taking you to the kangaroo king, eh.”

They led them down a corridor to the domain of the kangaroo king.  Inside they saw a kangaroo sitting on a throne with a hole cut out for his tail.  Two koalas were fanning him with eucalyptus leaves.

“You bloody traitors!”

A kangaroo comes in from a different corridor and presents the kangaroo king with his dinner.

“What is this, eh?  Pumpkin?  I hate pumpkin,  get this out of my sight.”

He slaps the plate out of his hand.  Just about now he notices them and hops over.

“Greetings, my name is Klifford, the Kangaroo King.  Now why have you infiltrated my lair, eh?”

“We’re here to save the children mate.”

“You can’t just take all the kids in our town all willy nilly.”

“Yeah we can, eh”

“No you can’t.”

“All right, let’s settle this with a challenge of your choosing, eh.  If you win we will release all of the children and if we win you all must become kangaroos.”

“We accept.”

The five of them huddle up to discuss their choice.

“What should we choose mate?”

“Hey yo, I’ve got an idea.  How’s about a moonwalk competition.”

“Crikey, that’s crazy.”

“Actually that is quite brilliant my good chum.   Don’t you know, kangaroos can’t walk backwards.”

“Crikey, that’s brilliant.  Good job Rocky.”

They all put their hands in the center of the huddle and throw them into the air while shouting “1,2,3 teamwork!”

“Okay, we’re ready mates.”

“What is your challenge, eh?”

“Moonwalking.”

“Hmm, interesting strategy.  Who will be your competitor, eh?”

“Oh, we hadn’t thought of that.  Do any of you know how to moonwalk?”

“Hey yo, let me do it.”

“Do you think you can Rocky?”

“Of course.”

“Then we choose Rocky Balboa.  What about you?”

“The kangaroos choose Carl the Mutant, eh.”

They hear chains rattling and two kangaroos lead a shackled kangaroo into the room.

“How is he a crikey mutant?”

“Look at his tail, eh.”

“What tail?”

“Exactly.”

“Oh no, now he can moonwalk.”

“Begin the competition eh!”

“Beat It” by Michael Jackson starts playing.  Carl the Mutant gets unchained and walks into the center of the room.  He starts to moonwalk and does it magnificently.  When he finishes Rocky steps up and does the moonwalk even better.

“Alright I suppose you win.”

“Give us the children and Bob back.”

“Okay, you foiled my plan fair and square.  And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling Australians and your Rocky Balboa, eh.”

They left the Kangaroos lair and made the long trek back across the Outback.

————————————————–

“Grandpa what are you talking about?  I asked you to tell me the story of how Halloween started.”

“Oh, right.  Well I wasn’t finished yet.   After they left they decided to give the children some candy because they felt bad for what happened to them.  They told them that if they ever wanted more candy to just stop by one of their houses.  Now the children didn’t want to appear greedy so they only asked for candy once a year, on the anniversary of that day, which was October 31.”

“Why do people wear costumes?”

“Since the children were still wearing their kangaroo suits that day, they decided to wear other costumes on the subsequent years.

“Why do people put out jack-o-lanterns?”

“Since Klifford the Kangaroo King hates pumpkins so much, everyone put them out on their porches to scare him away.”

“Oh, well thanks for the story Grandpa.  I’m gonna go trick or treating now.”

“Okay, have fun, eh.”

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